Instagram vs Reality: 'You only see 2% of what motherhood really looks like'

The life of a momfluencer often appears flawless. Their homes are immaculate, their style impeccable, and their children often match them in adorable outfits. They boast sleek strollers, beautiful nurseries, and seemingly possess the best parenting advice, whether it’s managing screen time or optimising nap schedules. These posts depict an idealised version of motherhood – or what society often expects it to be.

However, this portrayal only reveals one side of the story, typical of much of social media. A growing number of momfluencers are now pulling back the curtain to reveal the messier realities of parenting. Fatigue, frustration, and insecurity – these less glamorous aspects of motherhood are finding space on social media platforms. For many mothers, this honesty provides much-needed support.

‘I needed a safe community where people could be themselves’


Former actress Sameera Reddy , who’s Instagram bio proclaims ‘I’m Messy Mama’, admits she’s been harsh on herself – and she didn’t want other moms to go through the same. “I showed my grey hair, back fat, stretch marks...I didn’t care. A lot of people said, ‘Bollywood ki Sameera Reddy kahan gayi?’ and unfollowed me. But I was glad. Because I needed a safe community for people to be themselves.”

That sense of community is what keeps her going. Today, she’s found her tribe, and her brand collaborations are selective — she only partners with products she truly resonates with.

Kamana Gautam, a mother of two, also felt the need to connect with like-minded mothers. “There are trolls, yes, but there are also people who understand you and are going through the same journey,” she says. That said, she stays away from brand endorsements. “I can’t endorse something I can’t afford myself.”

For digital creator Silky Singh, social media became a space to vent. “I live with my three children, husband, and in-laws. Sometimes, it gets frustrating to do the household chores and manage the kids. I was surprised to see how many moms related when I started sharing my frustrations.”

Behind the posts: What you don’t see

The untold chaos behind photos is also finding its way to social media. “People are seeing just 2% of the life that other mothers are posting,” says Kamana, who often receives comments about her tidy home. But, she explains, the effort behind those polished frames is rarely shown.

“I remember posting one story about how we were dining at a restaurant. I wrote, ‘Though we are fine dining, my husband and I fought just before this.’ And I got so many messages saying, ‘Thank you for saying this – I thought we were the only ones.’”

Karishma echoes the sentiment. “If you see a glamorous photo shoot, just know that behind the scenes is a messy house, crying toddlers, and burnt food on the stove.”

Silky, of the Instagram page Parenting Trio, says she’s had to leave shoots midway when her toddler needed attention.

‘This is me - I cannot fake it’


Momfluencers are rejecting the pressure to be perfect. Sameera, whose candid and comedic parenting reels strike a chord with mothers, recalls, “When I got on to social media, I was taken aback by how pressured it was to look very perfect... I didn’t like that, I got a lot of anxiety.”

Things shifted after the birth of her daughter, Nyra. “One of the things that changed in me was the thought of Nyra growing up in a world where everyone is looking at you and pulling you down if you do not look a certain way... then something needs to change - and that change had to start with me,” the Darna Mana Hai actress says.

Kamana, who was already promoting conscious living online, realised that many mothers were silently struggling. “We don’t usually see the real side of motherhood on social media,” she says. “I don’t want to fake it because the more you fake it, the more stressful it becomes.”

Mom blogger Karishma K, who has 199K followers, may share adorable moments with her son Karanveer – but doesn’t hide the chaos behind those moments. “I get messages asking how I reduced my belly fat – I tell them it’s still there. It’s just how I dress in those yoga pants,” she laughs. “The job of a content creator might seem glamorous, but it is not. Everything is curated.”

Keep it raw and real

Momfluencers are choosing honesty over perfection. Instead of polished photos and perfect videos, they’re showing the real side of motherhood.

Sameera often shows up online without makeup, proudly displaying her grey hair and pimples. “I show my dishevelled self. I say that I am exhausted. I don’t shy away from showing anything,” she says. For her, it’s about being true to herself and not succumbing to pressure. “Don’t become a slave to social media. Be honest with yourself about how difficult it is to keep up with it all,” she says.

Kamana agrees with the sentiment. She believes pretending to be perfect only makes things more stressful. “Just be real. Every mom influencer should create a village of their own by sharing their real journeys.” Together, these moms are changing the face of influencer culture . By being raw and real, they’re helping other mothers feel seen, understood, and less alone.

- Arushi Jain